girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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