this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
