He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
