He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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