PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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