Im at strip club and am horny
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
