either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
