Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
