I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
