I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
