I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Girls should come with a carfax report
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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