I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Do vagina's smell?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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