I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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