I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
