K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And then he peed in my hair
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