so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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