I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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