We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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