Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Still dying that you shit outside
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
