Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
