i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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