Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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