I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
