Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
