I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
