Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
