She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
