i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who