I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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