that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
