bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
