Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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