There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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