my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
