I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
