My room smells like vodka and shame
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
