The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Those nachos came to me in a dream
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
