Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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