If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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