Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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