i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am available for nakedness
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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