Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
