sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
