Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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