dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
