that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
