Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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