Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
