I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
