I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What changed your mind?
Being sober
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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