At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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