that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
