Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm at about main and main street
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
