What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
