quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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