And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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