On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
