i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
